Story #1

I am 35 years old. I have been married for 12 years and have beautiful daughters. In November of 2001, I injured my back and have not been able to go back to work. All I can do is sit and get bigger.

Now when it seems that surgery on my back is near, the doctor tells me that I am too heavy for the surgical table and that he will have to check around to find one that can handle me. But in the meantime, I needed to get an accurate weight. Well since no house hold or clinic scales go above 350, I had to go to a grain co-op and weigh on the truck scales.

I called a doctor about doing a stomach staple but his office informed me that my medical insurance would not cover the surgery. As I see it, I can't have my back fixed until I lose weight, I can't lose weight because I am unable to exercise, and I can't have bariatric surgery because I don't have the money or the right insurance.

I have been overweight and now morbidly obese all my life, and now it seems that this will affect me for the rest of my life. If you read this just realize that you are not alone in the battle of obesity.

Story #2

I was busy looking up some information for a paper that I am doing for a college class when I came across this site. I come from a family of obese people. Most of them are around 300 pounds or more.

About a year ago I decided that I was sick of being obese myself. I could not stand the pain shooting up the heel of my foot, or the fact that I kept having pain in my chest. I felt doomed to die of a heart attack. At 33, I figured that I would die while still young. I just could not take another minute of being this way. I wanted to change my life, not only for me but for my children.

I started to workout. In August of 2001, I felt the world was at an end for me. Now here it is June and I love life! I have been able to take off 51 pounds and go down 5 pants sizes! I did it because I found that I had to get exercise. I had to watch what I put in my mouth. It was a lot of very, very hard work. 7 days a week I found a way to get some kind of exercise. I walk, lift weights, and use the other kinds of equipment at my local [gym].

I can't tell you the difference that has been made in my life. It is the best thing in the world. Now the only thing that weighs heavy on my heart is that I see my family still living the same way as before. I am sad that my mother and sister fight with their weight day in and day out. If I had not taken up exercise and forced myself to do it everyday then I would still be like them. It took about 4 months before I saw any change in my body, but then the weight started to come off and my clothes started to get bigger.

I pray that everyone who feels that they are at the end of their life and that they can't take the fat one more day, really look in the mirror and know that they can do it! They can make that change. It is not easy, but it is worth ever minute of your time to take that step and find some way to exercise. Anything you can do to get moving, don't give up, you are the only one who can do it, and you are worth it!

Story #3

I am 25 years old and I have lived with obesity my whole life. My mom is morbidly obese and always has been. I have never known her thin.

Today is Wednesday and she is scheduled for a Gastric Bypass surgery on Friday. I am excited for her and myself to get this surgery. I look forward to the day when my mom's little 5' 1" frame will carry a healthy weight instead of the 384 pounds it carries now.

Every day of her life, since I was a child, has been filled with depression and hopelessness. I cannot imagine her pain nor do I ever want to be able to know it. I look forward to Friday, but I also dread it. See, my mom was diagnosed with emphysema last year because she smoked for 30 years (she quit in May 1999 after being hospitalized). Her emphysema is quite advanced which poses serious potential problems during her surgery. She could die during the surgery or she could die afterward from complications from the emphysema.

The problem is if she doesn't have the surgery, she will die within 1 year maximum. Her doctor has told her that her obesity is escalating her lung problems as well as causing many others such as diabetes and sleep apnea. I am scared today. I don't want to lose her. She is only 50 years old and she is about to become a grandma in about four and a half months and I am so scared that she won't make it to see my little girl.

I have been so strong for her and myself, but the possibility looms over me. I don't want her to not get the surgery because I don't want her to spend the next 6 months to a year waiting for the day to come. I want to see her healthy and happy so much that I ache inside. Even for one day of her life.

Life is so lonely when you are obese. People mock obesity and think it isn't a real disease, but they are wrong! I have seen it's effects for so long and I have felt them. I know what it does to a person's health and mental well being. I guess I am learning to take it one day at a time and to make sure every day that my mom knows I love her. I simply cannot imagine my life without her, so I don't. I will continue to keep my focus these next two days and know in my heart that she will make it through.

Story #4

My dad was obese and it cost him his life. He went into the hospital very sick and it took 2 months to be diagnosed with cancer. Why did it take two months to find this out? Well to be blunt about it, there were soooo many tests that they couldn't do on him because he was OBESE!

You would think that all hospitals would be equipped to handle any tests on anyone, big or small! My dad was in three hospitals, two in West Virginia, one in Pittsburgh, PA. The two in West Virginia didn't even have open MRI's. The staff was not equipped to even handle an obese patient. My father was trying to get out of bed and they let him fall because there was not enough help for him.

My family and I are on a mission to remedy this sad fact but really haven't a clue of where to start. All hospitals should be equipped to do tests on all people, or at least have one hospital near that can. Until my Dad died we didn't even know there were specialized hospitals for the obese although they are far from where we live. We should have at least been aware that there were some out there. Maybe someone [knows] where to start so that all hospitals will be equipped to diagnose obese people.

Story #5

Hello. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who are suffering from this chronic disease. Here is my story: According to the BMI I am obese. My BMI is 35. I weigh close to 160 pounds and I am 60 inches in height. This is obese to me!

I've been through every diet imaginable. But, when you inherit genetic infirmities look out! To start out with, an underactive thyroid called hypothyroidism. Yes, I know for a fact that this is what it is called. I've had this ailment since 1974. This is genetically related to my father's side of the family. The next is cholesterol on both sides of the family. I've been on every type of medication to have the cholesterol lowered but it causes muscle dissention in the legs and arms. It's in better terms, fibromyalgia.

My doctor refers to me as obese and puts me on a low fat/low sodium diet. When you ask for a prescription for a weight management program they ask why? Before I was diagnosed with the thyroid and cholesterol disease I was at a weight of 115 to120 pounds. But, as the years went by and with menopause and such surgeries had to be done due to endometriosis.

I have always been careful as to what I was putting in my mouth and would leave food on my plate. But, you know what sticks in my gut is the stereotypical innuendo of how the medical staff treats you as though you sit home and stuff yourself by the minute. Well something definitely needs to be done for us sufferers who are trying to manage weight. We should be allowed through our insurance to have them setup a management program with meals for certain medical issues, etc. Thank you for reading my story.

Story #6

Hello. I live in Rochester, NY. I'm 17 years old and I weigh 440 pounds. I've been overweight since I was 12 years old. I used to go to school, but I had to drop out because people continued to make fun of me.

I suffer from depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. I hate my body so much and I wish I could lose all this weight in a heartbeat, but I can't. Now I sit around in the house all day, and when I do go out I don't even get out of the car. I joined a gym, but I don't know what good that's going to do.

I missed my whole teenage-hood because of my obesity. I wish I could go to a store and buy sexy clothing and bell-bottoms and tank tops and a bikini, but I can't because they don't make clothing my size.

You know what, I feel so guilty for letting myself get so big and I wish I could just live an ordinary teenage life, and have cute boys look at me and not pick on me, because I would be beautiful. And I could go out and enjoy life instead of being afraid all the time.

I know I'm not the only obese person in the world but me being a teenager and watching all these other skinny teenage girls, it makes me feel like I am the only one and I feel like such a freak. I wish I could change, but it's so hard. I really need some support right now. I wish all these pretty skinny, in-shape people could just respect me, but that will never happen because of the way I look.

Story #7

I come from a small community East of San Francisco called San Leandro, California. My weight problems began when I was about 27 years old. I worked for a startup computer firm in the famous Silicon Valley. I worked on the phones and was sedentary 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. That's when a boyfriend suggested I lose a few pounds.

We tried dieting together. He lost rapidly while my weight stayed pretty much the same. I tried exercising with him, still to no avail. Finally, a girlfriend of mine suggested a [commercial weight loss program].

That worked - she and I both met our goal weight - I had lost 30 pounds. But the false promise of the [commercial weight loss program] was that if you maintained your weight for 1 year, you would "reset" your metabolism and keep the weight off --- NOT TRUE.

I maintained the weight loss for a year then started the slow process of regaining all the lost weight plus another 30 pounds. It took me another 5 years of this excess - perpetually blaming myself when I tried the [commercial weight loss program] AGAIN. (Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.) This time I lost 50 pounds. I was in the gym 3 times a week. I was walking. I was slim. I kept that weight off for a year, then the steady incline to where I am now.

I am currently 100 pounds overweight. It's as if I take every weight loss and double it. This is the age-old "yo-yo syndrome." My current approach is very gentle. I am trying to eat more wholesome foods. Because of high blood pressure I try to be careful about salt intake. I shop for more fruits and vegetables.

If it takes a few years, so be it. I am exercising, again, gently, not doing too much all at once. I hope to build up to more strenuous exercise. I swim, walk, and do isometric exercises. The results are good; my blood pressure is down. I have a long journey, though.

Story #8

Hi, I currently live in the Houston area. My story begins at the age of five when my parents divorced. I have been overweight for the past 30 years.

I'm a single parent of 5. The oldest is 18 and the youngest is 6. I have tried everything man has made -- pills, liquid diets, cabbage diets, meat diets, counting calories -- everything!!!! I have a good job with great benefits and insurance. But to my dismay Blue Cross / Blue Shield doesn't pay for everything.

I had my gallbladder out in 1992, and am currently awaiting surgery to fix one of the two herniated discs in my lower back. I don't have all of the usual symptoms to go along with this disease, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc., but I have suffered tremendously nonetheless, including my marriage. I have decided to undergo gastric bypass surgery, and I am currently researching doctors and cost. I believe this is best for me and I look forward to a new life. Wish me luck!

Story #9

Hello, I'm living currently in Mesa, Arizona, although I did not grow up here. I'm 5' 3" and weigh 235 lbs. As bad as that sounds, it's not my heaviest. A few years ago I weighed 256. My health is suffering because of the weight. I'm diabetic, have high blood pressure and starting to have joint problems, all due to the excess weight.

My story might be a little different than some. I didn't start out life heavy. I was a skinny, sickly child. Average sized until somewhere between 35 and 40. I am 54 now. I gained slowly but surely. Maybe ten pounds a year. Nothing obvious. No eating disorders. Just taking in more calories and not exercising enough. I blame it on not having to watch what I ate.

I never learned to eat properly to maintain my weight. My childhood was filled with "eat something, you'll feel better." Now whenever I feel neglected, or get angry, or sad, or....I eat something, to feel better. When I was in high school I was average. Average height, 5' 3", average weight, 110lbs and maybe just a little above average smarts. There was one "fat girl" in a school of around 4,000 students. Maybe a few that could stand to lose 20 pounds.

Look at any junior high or high school today. The majority of kids could stand to lose 20 or 30 pounds. They're also taller and maybe even a little healthier than my generation. No childhood diseases to battle. Kids today play video games about sports, instead of participating in them. Too much prepared and "fast" food.

I do get "help" from my doctor. He fusses at me and then says "lose weight" and come back in a couple months. He also gave me dietary advice. Said to cut out sweets, bread and potatoes. Maybe my story is pretty common for my age group. Thanks for "listening" and thanks for having a web-site that doesn't blame us for our "genetic" dispositions.

Story #10

Hello, I am 31 years old, 5'10' and weigh close to 400 pounds, and have struggled with obesity since I started school. I am from Calvert City, KY. I am currently fighting my insurance company for a referral to a bariatric surgeon. I have already been turned down once but I will not stop.

I am diabetic, have arthritis, polycystic ovarian disease and several other health conditions. I am fighting for the Gastric Bypass surgery. My obesity is definitely hereditary; my mom and dad are not small. The next generation back is not small either. My grandmother on my dad's side was 6 feet tall and 300 pounds and my dad was 6 feet and 250 pounds. My mom is 5'6" and weighs about 170 to180 pounds. I need any ideas that someone might have to help me to convince my insurance that it is necessary, not cosmetic.

Story #11

I am currently 29 years old. I have been overweight my entire life. I think I was six when the doctors first wanted to put me on a diet.

My nickname in middle school and part of high school was Beluga. I say part of high school because I moved and once I started at a new high school and losing a bit of weight, I never was called that again by my peers. I still remember that though so apparently the scars remain.

Throughout my life I yo yo dieted until I topped out at 348 pounds. As my last hope I had RNY gastric bypass surgery. I say last hope because I was quickly approaching being unable to walk.

I was tired all the time, breathless upon the least little exertion. I couldn't stand for long periods of time without my ankles wanting to break. I didn't experience menstruation. I was infertile. I was insulin resistant. I was afraid of dying. Then I had surgery.

Within a year I lost over 90% of my excess weight. I became more energetic. I didn't get winded as quickly. Thirteen months after surgery, I got pregnant and went on to deliver a healthy baby. Somewhere along the line I got noticed.

When I was heavy I would try to blend into my surroundings (which is hard to do when you are normally the largest in the room) but I was lucky in that I had friends and met a man who became a devoted and loving husband. (He still is -- lucky me).

But I got noticed by not just those around me but by a group doing a documentary for MSNBC called The Last Chance? They interviewed me about the surgery, my success and having a baby. They listened to me. And I started realizing that I had something to say.

I was lucky in that my insurance covered my surgery but there are those who are not so lucky. So I spearheaded a drive in the state of Ohio to mandate coverage of morbid obesity treatment so that every insurance company who writes a policy in Ohio would be required to cover treatment of morbid obesity before someone else dies because of it.

I started talking to the press. The local paper published a few stories. The local television station got involved when I told them about a friend of mine who needed surgery or she would die. The AP got involved and ran a story that went national. I started getting phone calls. Not about me but about the surgery and morbid obesity. About people that are dying. And I am trying to do something about it.

I am still waging the battle in Ohio. When hearings are held on Senate Bill 162 I plan to be there. I plan to force the state to take heed. I plan to do something.

I don't plan to try to blend in ever again. As if at 348 pounds I was actually succeeding at blending in. Rather I plan to speak out -- continue speaking out.

I am going to law school in the fall (on full tuition scholarship) and plan to continue leading the fight against discrimination of the obese. I plan to work to make sure that the bill in Ohio passes and continue helping others appeal to their insurance companies.

I plan to make a difference. Okay corny I know this sounds. But it is also honest. I can do it. And so can anyone else if they try. I encourage you to try. If I can lose the weight and keep it off, I can do anything. And I plan to prove it.

Rogers, Ohio
Lost over 90% of excess and maintaining
Gained a beautiful daughter on 8/9/00

Story #12

Compared to the guy who can't get his insurance company to pay for heart surgery, I realize I don't have much to complain about. But today something happened that surprised me.

I recently left my job, and am trying to find a new one. Since I'd like to have health insurance in the meantime, I applied for coverage with Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS). Today I received a letter from Blue Cross that said they would be unable to offer me coverage "until my weight stabilizes."

I am a 30-year-old woman who doesn't smoke and drinks maybe three or four beers in a month. I am 5' 5" and I weigh 230 pounds. I know I'm overweight, but it surprised me that I'm so heavy I can't get insurance.

And it's not like I'm asking for the best plan in the world. Basically, I'd be paying BCBS $105 a month. In return, once I've spent $1,000 on medical care, then they'd pay 90% of any other medical bills I might have. No mental health coverage, not much in the way of prescription coverage. Really, I just wanted to have something in place in case I get cancer or something really catastrophic.

Anyway, that's my story. I live in Fernandina Beach, Florida.

Thanks for listening.

Story #13

Hello. I'm a 50 year old mother, grandmother and wife. All of my life I have been overweight. Of course, this is usually the same in all obesity people.

In my life, I was fortunate to have my height. I'm 6'1". No matter how much weight I ever lose, I'm always going to be big. That is what my mother told me.

Just like most people, I have spent a small fortune on weight loss. I think I was different from other over weight people because I really think, for some reason, people were always afraid to make fun of me. I'm not a violent person, but I think that I intimidated people anyway.

My real problems started when I looked for employment. Any time I would go to look for work in an office setting, they would say the job has been filled. Unless the person doing the hiring was also overweight.

My story isn't about pain from others, it's about pain itself. I was diagnosis with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) causing paralysis for about 3 months. Until I was treated with steroids. Today, 26 years later, I suffer from the effects of that drug. It slows down your metabolism and causes your bones to become easier to break down.

I suffer from arthritis, loss of short-term memory. I have become so slow, every step I take is painful. I have continued to work to keep medical insurance, and to just keep going.

I'm working on getting the bypass surgery, but my insurance won't pay for it. Along with the surgery, I have another ventral hernia, which is now number 7. It will help me get part of the surgery cost down, since I have to pay for it out of pocket.

I'm looking forward to having the surgery. Seems strange to say you're looking forward to having surgery, but I've put a lot of faith in what it can do for my health.

We should all pray for each other and hope that America gets wise and see what obesity is doing to us. I worry for the young people to come. We need to educate more doctors and insurance companies about this deadly disease. Help teachers and mentors learn to understand how it feels to be overweight. Maybe we can stop the cycle for the next generation. Thank You.

Story #14

Two weeks ago on April 15, 2002 I weighed in at 222 pounds. This is the most I have ever weighed in my life. I have been fighting my weight since I was 15 years old. I weighed 180 pounds then.

The least I ever weighed was 145. I would love to be at that weight again.

I have arthritis in my knees, lower back pain, urinary incontinence and I'm tired all the time. I made my mind up that I am going to get the weight off for good this time.

I refuse to pay anyone my hard-earned money to help me do this. I went on [the Internet] and got a diet plan mapped out for me and so far I have lost six pounds. I have also started going to my local pool and taken up water-walking. I don't swim, I water walk. I walk through the water just like I would walk on a sidewalk.

I can't believe I have let myself get to this point but I don't plan to be here long. I'll let you know how I'm doing. Thanks for providing a format to share.

Norfolk, VA

Story #15

Non-compliant. That is the new word I find applied in my direction lately. Before fat, lazy, undisciplined were more the words I was used to, this new one has given me some new thoughts on being morbidly obese.

I am 54 years old, female, and I live in Lodi, California. I am a registered nurse. I am also a wife, a mother, a diabetic, and hypertensive. Fat has always been part of my life, my mom and her family were obese, my brother too, I have not always been obese but I have always felt I was.

Currently I am a medical review nurse. I review cases for medical necessity. I feel I am working to help people get the treatment they need at good cost savings when possible.

One of the procedures we review for is Gastric Bypass Surgery. I consider this a rather difficult review because we have specific criteria, but actually if you have a BMI over 40 and one or two significant comorbidities the surgery is generally deemed medically necessary and the procedure is approved.

Now, I have begun the process of applying for gastric bypass surgery. My BMI is 48, I have had diabetes for 24 years, on insulin for about 14 years. I have been significantly hypertensive for 27 years. I have worsening osteoarthritis in my knees and ankles. I have other minor problems but those listed are the worst. My mom died at 64 of renal failure, and heart failure due to diabetes, obesity and hypertension. I am fast approaching that age.

I have had the same primary care physician for 10 years. I have trusted her and considered her a friend and a good doctor. She has always encouraged me to lose weight and exercise and there have been times when I have been able to do so, but generally, I do not exercise and for the past few years, I do not try as hard to diet as I have in the past. Before I would wake up most mornings determined to diet, but by evening usually, I had FAILED. Each day I failed.

Now as I ask help to have a surgery I feel is my absolute last chance, I find my doctor is reluctant to support me because "YOU ARE NON-COMPLIANT, YOU KNOW."

The program that my medical group recommends will not even let you talk to a surgeon until you have lost 10%. If I could loose 10%, I would not need surgery, I could loose more than 10%.

These restrictions and my doctor's comments demonstrate to me that they do not have a clue how to deal with morbidly obese people. I have thought long and hard about this surgery and absolutely feel it is my last chance. Now with all the added obstacles placed in my way I may end up giving up.

I know I am a failure. I know it every day. I know I am non-compliant, I need help, but instead it is judgment and restrictions, something I see every day. I am very disappointed in my doctor, but I guess after 10 years of telling me what I should do (nothing I don't tell myself by the way) I guess she knows I can only fail again and why spend her medical group's precious share of money on a failure. (what a baby!!)

Anyway, this is how I feel today-I needed to whine a while, thank you for giving me a place to vent. I do think some of what I am saying is valid. I do feel my doctor feels I am a bother to care for when I am always non-compliant. It makes me not want to go back. I agree of course, I am gross and slow and…Why don't I just loose weight???

Story #16

I am always trying to diet. Lose and gain, lose and gain. It may be genetic because everyone in my family is very heavy. I know people stare and some people pass comments. The biggest discrimination was when I had emergency surgery.

There I was semi-conscious and had to be place on the operating table. No one would lift me and there were four people in the room. I heard the surgeon say "don't lift her let her do it herself." I was forced to move myself after losing 12 units of blood and almost died.

When I recovered I was unable to walk for a few months and had to rely on an ambulance service to take me to the doctor, which they refused to do. No one would lift me. I think not only because I was obese (250 lbs.), but because I was an obese women. I have seen them act different with men who weighed more than I did and no one said a word. I believe that obese women are discriminated against even more than men.

There is much more I can say but there is enough to write a book.

Story #17

Hi there. I am a 30 year-old woman with 2 beautiful, pretty healthy children and I should be the happiest woman in the world. I am not. I have a problem. I am morbidly obese. Geez, I hate that word. It just makes my skin crawl.

I have always been an obese child and have continued to be one as an adult. The real problem is that I have an 11 year-old son that is also following in my footsteps and I want to change that before it goes too far with him. I suffer enough without having to worry about my son doing the exact same thing.

To be "fat" as a child is the worse thing in the world. It is so emotionally damaging that [you] don't really live a "normal" childhood. I was always made fun of by children and ADULTS. This caused me to rebel and have a terrible time in school.

I was the most insecure person in the world and still am. I never thought that I would get married. I started dating a guy and thought I was in love with him when deep down, I thought he would be the only guy in the world to marry me, so I married at the age of 18.

I had my 1st son when I was 19. I am divorced now and am raising my 2 sons. I don't work, I couldn't. I am in pain too much and therefore, I would not be able to hold down a full time job.

I have a chronic fatigue syndrome called Fibromyalgia. The calves of my legs feel like I have "charley horses" in them constantly. I sleep about 3 to 6 hours a night (6 being if I have a really good night sleeping). I have developed High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol not to mention the constant back pain, the constant neck pain that I go through every day of my life.

I am on so many medications to try and control this chronic fatigue syndrome that it is hard to keep up with all of them. I have extra skin hanging that sometimes gets heat rash or yeast infections between the layers. I feel like I am walking on my bare feet bones sometimes. Carrying around this weight is a lot for your feet, legs and back. My knees hurt all the time. I fall all the time and always land on my knees, therefore, I have bursitis on my right knee.

I have an awful time with my monthly periods. Sometimes I have periods every 2 weeks. And I never stop like normal. My periods usually last 10-14 days. This itself is enough to drive a person crazy. My periods are very heavy, sometimes to the point that I have to lie down because I feel dizzy and am bleeding very heavy. The doctor that delivered my last son suspects that I might have Endometriosis. But I am a "high risk" for surgery because of my weight that I can't have the surgery that is required to find out if I have this problem with my uterus.

I don't know who is reading this or if anyone will. But I want you to stop for a minute, put yourself in my shoes. Try to imagine being an adult that weighs 390 lbs. and this is nothing. I have weighed up to more than 420 lbs. I have 2 children. I can't sit around like I feel like. I have to be up cleaning, cooking, chasing the kids, helping with the homework and running to the kids games and school events.

I mean, I don't want you to think that I am feeling sorry for myself. I just want all this pain and emotional scars to go away. I want to stop hurting all the time. I want to stop hearing people laugh at me. I want people to stop saying, "But you have such a pretty face!" (I HATE THAT) and I really want to be able to go out and play with my sons like a normal mom can. But most of all, I want to be the REAL me. I want to go to college and get my RN Nursing Degree. I want to work on the Labor/Delivery Floor. I want to be happy. Isn't it time for me to be happy for once?

Yes, I have tried all of those diets, the diet pills and even one period in my life I tried the throwing up/gagging myself theory. That last theory ended shortly there after when my hair started falling out. I have been that low in my life, that I would stoop to such a stupid thing.

I have a really good Doctor. He is trying to help me so that I can become that person that he knows that I need to be. After many months of trying this medicine and that medicine, we both have agreed that if I lost weight, it would be a big, big difference in my health, emotional and physical.

He has put me on a waiting list to have the gastric bypass surgery done. The only thing is that I have Medicaid. I have to be on a waiting list that is until the end of this year. I feel so betrayed.

If I had insurance, the situation would be different. I feel like I am on death row. My health problems can kill me. High blood pressure can make me have a heart attack or a stroke. I have a chance of developing female cancer, because I have had mild dysplasia cells found during a routine pap smear and possibly have bleeding in the lining of my uterus that may develop into uterine cancer if not found.

But I can't have the surgery because of my weight. If someone had cancer, would they tell them that they would have to be put on a waiting list for the necessary chemotherapy that is often needed.

I know that it isn't like this and I halfway understand, but I am just frustrated. I need to loose weight so bad. Not for only my kids sake, but for mine too. If I feel like this at 30, what am I going to feel like at 60? Will I be alive that long?

Thanks for taking the time to listen to me. Hope someone reads this …hahaha …felt good just saying it all though. Have a nice day!

Muncie, Indiana

Story #18

My son is 43 he has suffered most of his life with obesity. At the age of 6 he had polio which paralyzed his right leg.

At that time he had all of his polio shots but contracted polio from his sister who had just had her oral Sabin [vaccine]. They also operated on his good leg to stunt the growth because his left leg had atrophied so they decided to stunt the growth in his good leg.

Now he is so very obese that will soon be in a wheel chair. He can't get insurance because of his problem. The doctor says that there is no hope for him losing weight…he can't exercise. There are also very big people on his father's side of the family so he has a lot of strikes against him.

He also has high blood pressure now. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure that he will not be with us very much longer unless he gets some help.

Kodak, TN

Story #19

Hello. I want to tell you a little about myself. I am now 25 and severely obese. I have been overweight since childhood. I have battled with my weight, gone on every diet known to man, and bought every exercise tape on the market. But to no avail, I am still obese.

I have lost my joy over the years and I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore. I have a 16 month-old daughter, and I can't even get on the floor and play with her because of my size. I can't run in the yard with her and do the things she wants me to do and it breaks my heart.

I can't seem to find help anywhere. My doctors will not put me on any prescription to help. They simply tell me to eat healthy and include foods from the 4 food groups.

Well, that's just the problem. If I knew how to eat healthy I wouldn't be where I am now. I have no clue how to prepare healthy meals. I don't even know how to shop healthy. How many other people out there are obese due to lack of knowledge? Lots and lots.

For most of us, we cant afford to see a nutritionist, and the doctors, most of them seem really uncaring toward our condition, like if we really wanted to be then we would do something about it. That's just not the case. No one wishes to be obese.

I am hoping and praying that obesity will one day be looked at as a medical condition and not just as a cosmetic flaw. Because of that, I went through my child hood with no real friends and absolutely no social skill to speak of. I am just now learning how to interact with people. I'm not the only one in this situation and it is very sad that people have to endure this alone.

Story #20

I am a 29 year-old, married, mother of 2, graduate student and I am 5'1, 216 lbs. I have recently shed 14 pounds. I have struggled my whole life with being "chubby", but it was not until my first pregnancy, 9 years ago, that I became obese.

By the time my first child was born, I weighed 180. This weight gain was a big shock to my husband, who was okay with me when I was 15-20 lbs. overweight, but 65 extra lbs. was definitely not okay with him. Since my weight gain, my life has changed so much. I used to be "quite pretty," or so my family keeps saying, but now I am just an embarrassment to them.

Most of the overt discrimination that I have felt has come from my own family members. My husband and I have broken up a number of times because of my weight. He just cannot understand why I can't just lose the weight. Eventually, he gets so frustrated with me that he pulls away and we break up.

His family members are particularly bothered by my weight, often making comments to my daughter about being sure that she does not become fat, because being fat is the worse thing she could do. They often refuse to invite me to public places, and have even been known to take food right out of my hands during family gatherings.

The problems are not exclusive to my husband's family, when I graduated from college. For instance, my own obese mother told me she was proud of me, but that I should remember that as long as I am fat none of my achievements will mean anything, because no one in society cares about "fat people". It didn't matter that in spite of being a high school drop out, I had just earned a BA and graduated with honors; still the only thing anyone could see was my weight.

Recently, the treatment has been even worse. Last year, while giving birth to my second child, my husband refused to help me through the labor. He sat in the corner watching TV, until the doctor asked him to please help support my leg while I pushed, because there were not enough nurses on duty that night. He was embarrassed to be with me since everyone in the room could see what I looked like naked. There is no way to be modest, while giving birth.

Several months later, it was time for my husband's office Christmas party and all of my friends were excited to go. When I asked my husband if we could go, he said no, because "if the guys at I work with see what you look like, they will not respect me as a manager. I will never hear the end of it. Those guys would just as soon piss in your coffee, because of your weight, than they would talk to you."

Needless to say, I was devastated. I felt like dying, and I think that I did die inside. Since than, I have felt very insecure about going anywhere. I am constantly wondering what people are thinking of me, and I don't talk or make eye contact anymore (especially with men).

I have started a new program and, so far, I have stuck with it for about three months. My results have been modest, but I have seen some improvement. I just hope that by next year, I can be at a normal weight. I just don't think I can function much longer being the source of everyone's embarrassment. If the people close to me feel this way about me, I can only imagine what people who don't know or care about me are feeling for me. It is a very scary thought.